It’s A Roast

And Liz Truss Wilts Like a Head of Lettuce.

It’s A Roast

Hey friends,

Last Week, if I heard you say, "Truss Falls" I would have thought you were talking about a team-building exercise and not yesterday's events at 10 Downing Street. I'll have an update in a moment.

Now, a correction.

For everyone who read an excerpt about my vasectomy last week, it created an embarrassing moment for me. The tweet embedded in the issue which was a reply did not display the full context in email form, leaving my tender advice falling flat. The full thread appears properly on the web. Vasectomies out of context are never good.

Liz Truss and I are not the only ones getting roasted today. I'll get to that in a minute...

But first, let's get to The News.

Hot Takes

Week 42 of 2022

Liz Truss Quits. Wilts Like a Head of Lettuce.

Alright, lettuce talk about what's happened here. British Prime Minister Liz Truss was elected by the British Conservative Party as Prime Minister, and resigned after 44 days, following a revolt against her domestic economic policies. Included was a substantial tax-cutting agenda, benefiting the rich. The mere mention of it sent the value of the British pound so low, it could hardly pay for a Boris Johnson haircut.

The pundits were left making guesses as to whether she would last longer than a head of lettuce, as the Economist states in their now viral and paywalled article.

Waning public support had put a wedge between Truss and her party, however, advisors caution against using the term wedge, given the viral produce reference. The opposing Labour Party said her failures are only the tip of the iceberg.

On Wednesday, Liz declared to Parliament "I am not a quitter", and promptly resigned the next day. In her brief speech announcing her resignation, she went on to list her accomplishments which included getting elected and then resigning.

Among the candidates who may be selected for the position is Boris Johnson who was recently removed under tenuous circumstances. Despite the lack of support from many British citizens, the party has fared well with grocers who are used to turning inventory quickly and can relate. (more)

Elon's Hotspot

Do you ever get frustrated when you're sharing your hotspot and some "friend" decides to start watching videos or something? Well, that's what is happening to Elon Musk in Ukraine except instead of a feature on a cellphone, it's a network of satellites, and instead of videos, it's the communications network for an entire army – understandably this still can be frustrating.

Late last week, Musk said he would not be able to fund the internet access in Ukraine via Starlink, his satellite internet service – only to reverse his position to say he would continue funding the service, which was not asked for but has become critical. The EU has since begun weighing whether it would fund the service. (more)

Related: Elon Musk's deal with Twitter seems to be getting closer to a close. He said he wanted to reduce the staff by as much as 75%, claiming that some of the employees may actually be bots like many of the site's user profiles.

How To Plan a Press Conference

Governor Ron Desantis called a press conference to announce his crackdown on voter fraud hours after arresting people completely unaware they had committed any such fraud. Police body cam footage shows that neither the police officers nor those being handcuffed understood why they were being arrested, but sources say that immigrants located in Martha's Vineyard know exactly why. (more)

Double You Ex Why Xi?

Xi Jinping, President of China may have a chip on his shoulder but America won't be buying it. Xi is happy to announce on Linkedin that he has accepted the position of President for a third term, a position which he was humbled and honored to offer himself this week. His Communist Party is focused on building up the military, having no cases of Covid, and being mad at the USA for banning the production of Chinese chips (computer, not potato). (more)

Who is Marshall?

In Ukraine, Russian President Vladimir Putin is conducting a simple, yet special, military operation that he says is not a war. In that "not-war" on Wednesday he declared martial law, and citizens of the area are being evacuated in anticipation of significant combat. The measure gives Putin legal cover for certain actions he may take because being on the up and up is important to him.

Over the last week, Kyiv was sprinkled with targeted attacks from Kamikaze drones, provided to Russia by Iran, in addition to shelling to attack Ukraine's energy infrastructure. The attack was an indication of fading military resources and is the equivalent of a Facebook update that says "Is in a relationship with Iran". Last night, US intelligence announced that it believes Iranian soldiers may have engaged in combat directly in Crimea. (more)

Ye Olde Social Media App

Kanye West, who still can't get his mother to agree to call him Ye, just agreed to buy Parler so that he can continue to be the rapper version of Donald Trump. Elon Musk celebrated the deal by deleting a tweet about them joining forces. (more)

Not Interested Rates

The rates are bumping up another 0.75% once again. In the US, September inflation rates came in at 8.2%, and across the world, prices have inflated for items like bread which normally cause me to be the one that inflates. It's a hard time for baguettes. (more)

That's it for the news. Now here's The Gist.

If We Don't Save Coffee, We're Roasted

The Gist

This week's Long Read has created a lot of buzz. Having been a coffee drinker since the day I first had to wake up for work every morning, this article covers a matter that is important to me, but more importantly, to all of humanity. If dinosaurs had coffee, we might be having a very different conversation today.

Read the article.

Coffee To The End of The Earth
How we’re destroying the world and our morning routines.

Thanks for reading. That's it for this week's issue.

If you need someone to commiserate with you, email Liss Truss. If you need to get answers to your toughest questions, email me.

Reply here, and your question may be used in a future issue of The Weekly.

Have a great weekend!

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