Crimea River

And Alex Jones loses the Infowars.

Crimea River

Hey friends,

Good morning to everyone except Alex Jones.

This Tuesday marked four weeks until the midterm elections across the US, and I'm still hoping The Lorem Ipsum gets a few write-in votes. (By the way, if you do, please use italics).

This week I published an article summarizing the major races for this midterm election, mostly making fun of candidates, but I'm confident you’ll also find useful information. As a reminder, if you want to receive articles in your inbox, you can add Long Reads to your preferences here.

We can talk about the election in a minute...

But first, let's get to The News.

On The Internet: For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you know I frequently provide helpful advice on a variety of topics. Here's an example from this week. Ian is one serious dad.

Hot Takes

Week 41 of 2022

Crimea River

The bridge connecting the Crimean peninsula to Russia was damaged by an explosion conducted by unconfirmed perpetrators. Ukraine has yet to claim responsibility but US intelligence believes whoever carried out the operation may have been upset about something.

After the attack, Russia responded with missile strikes on civilian targets in 11 cities, killing around 19 and injuring 100 according to reports. The strikes demonstrate Putin's shrewdness in waging war, resulting in an average of 1.7 people killed per $10 million missile strike while adding roughly zero military advantages. (more)

Movement at Mar-a-Lago

Breaking: Donald Trump may have lied to the F.B.I.

In reports released on Wednesday, a Trump aide was recorded on security footage moving boxes out of storage, even after a subpoena was issued. According to contacts familiar with the matter, moving the files was a matter of obstruction. Meaning they were obstructing access to Trump's golf clubs in the storage room. (more)

Last Night's Bombshell January 6th Committee Hearing

In addition to seventeen thousand other things in the news about Trump's legal troubles, the January 6th Committee aired what might be its last public hearing yesterday afternoon.

In the hearing, the committee presented a summation of its case and bombshell new video evidence of events that occurred on January 6th. One segment which was supposed to be included was never before seen slow-motion video footage of the ketchup being splashed against the white house walls while Cassidy Hutchinson yells in a low slo-mo voice "NOOOOOO!!!!", a video that appears to have been cut from the proceeding.

The Committee voted unanimously live in the broadcast at 3:30 to subpoena Donald Trump to testify before the committee. (more)

Losing the Infowar

Alex Jones, host of the conspiracy theory internet show Infowars was ordered to pay just shy of 1 billion dollars to 15 families that were subject to threats and harassment due to his false claims that the Sandy Hook school shooting was a hoax and they were crisis actors working for the government.

Alex, who doesn't have a billion dollars, says he faces financial ruin, which was the whole point. (more)

Counselors Under Fire

After leaked audio revealed three Los Angeles City Counselors sharing laughs and racist remarks, Biden has called for their resignation and the California Attorney General has initiated an investigation regarding how redistricting is conducted under the Counsel's watch.

The bulk of the comments came from L.A. City Council President Nury Martinez in a 2021 meeting. According to the L.A. Times, Martinez made "openly racist remarks, derided some of her council colleagues, and spoke in unusually crass terms about how the city should be carved up politically." And this is why we can't have nice things. (more)

Old Age She Wrote

Angela Landsbury acclaimed actress of “Murder she wrote” died on Tuesday. At the age of 96, the singing and dancing actress was a tale as old as time. She was known for her role as the murder mystery writer Jessica Fletcher, who had a knack for finding herself around actual murders, which she inevitably solves. With over 80 years in the acting business, Landsbury didn't just play people. She also voiced the role of the teapot "Mrs. Potts" in Disney's Beauty and The Beast. You can read a summary of her life and career right here.

That's it for the news. Now here's The Gist.

Quick Note: Covering the news is hard. Especially when you realize 500 words into a really great article that your caps lock was on the whole time. But that's what editors are for I guess. If you want to support the hard work of The Lorem Ipsum, but you can't bear to add one more subscription that costs you less than a Bud Light at Applebee's, you can leave a one-time tip right here.

Four Weeks

The Gist

As we approach election day on November 8th, here at The Lorem Ipsum, we understand that you need to know who's running and what to vote for. I can't help you with that. I can give you a summary of the issues at hand in the major races and highlight some of the ways that candidates are excoriating each other.

Read the article:

Four Weeks. A Guide to the Midterms.
We’ve prepared a convenient guide to the Midterms including all the scandals.

That's it for this week's issue of The Weekly. As always, send me your feedback and your questions. You can reply to this email, or drop a note in the comments.

Have a great weekend!

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