Time for some eggs

Especially if they are on Putin's face.

Time for some eggs

Hey friends,

Good morning to you all, and welcome to The Weekly.

If you're reading this from jail, I have some good news for some of you. If you're locked up on federal weed charges, you'll soon be reading The Lorem Ipsum from a more comfortable setting.

President Biden pardoned everyone convicted of marijuana possession under U.S. law. The news broke yesterday at about 4:20 PM and was followed by loved ones of those incarcerated celebrating with brownies, nachos, and taking a nap.


That's not the only dope being smoked right now. The other dope is Vladimir Putin. And he's being smoked by Ukraine.

Moments after Putin signed papers annexing areas in Ukraine they did not control, Ukraine liberated the very areas Russia was celebrating, chasing Russian soldiers out of town, and continued that process all week.

I have to say, I love a good egg. Especially an easy egg over a savory breakfast hash. But my favorite is seeing egg on Putin's face. And Ukraine definitely made it look easy.

I mentioned eggs in this week's Long Read as well, but not in the way you might think. I'll get to that in a minute...

But first, let's get to The News.

In case you missed it: I released the first chapter of my book Made From Leftovers, my memoir which examines poverty without being too sad or elegy-y. Read more about that in last week's issue.

Hot Takes

Week 40 of 2022

US Court Supreme

Put some sour cream on that, because I like my courts supreme. The new session started this week with some pretty crunchy topics. Notably, the Wedding Cake case is being reincarnated as the Supreme Court takes up the case of a web designer who won't work with same-sex couples. Evidently, building websites is against her religion based on the pictures it contains and Justice Thomas is on the case.

Also, the long-standing precedent on affirmative action has been around longer than the Chalupa, but it's being tested in this session in cases concerning how universities like Harvard account for race on their application. The case was spearheaded by conservative activist Edwin Blum, who thinks rich white kids just aren't getting a fair shake in this country.

Speaking of race, before the Court closes the docket like the fold of a crunch wrap supreme, they'll also be considering cases on voting laws, for example, whether it is legal to limit the power of black people's votes in Alabama with gerrymandering. After decades of improved voting access, it seems like Republican-leaning Alabama is getting stingy with the hot sauce packets. Here's a summary of cases the courts will hear

Only if I Musk

Turns out Twitter purchase agreements don't have an edit button either. After months of debate, and trying to get out of the deal, Elon Musk suggested possibly if it would be okay to just go with the original plan to buy Twitter for 45 billion. Twitter accepted the offer once again but might continue with its lawsuit for the trouble. (more)

It Wasn't Me

US intelligence has revealed it believes the assassination of Russian activist Darya Dugina might have been authorized by members of the government in Ukraine. Currently, it's unclear if Russia will take a break from committing mass genocide so they can retaliate against them for the alleged offense. (more)

When The Rust Settles

This was one of those scenarios where guns killed people but people didn't kill people. This week, the studio and producers of Rust, along with Alec Baldwin reached a settlement with the family of Haley Hutchins who was killed by a projectile coming out of a prop gun that was in Alec Balwin's hand. Haley's husband Matthew is now an executive producer of the movie, which resumes filming in January. (more)

Injunction Junction What's Your Function?

Trump is trying to get the Supreme Court to intervene in his classified-documents+special-master+DOJ+Mar-A-Lago thing, and it's really confusing. If you still want to understand it, you can watch this interview, but I'd recommend you just read this article that I wrote about the topic titled 'Maybe You Should Have a Drink'.

That's it for the news. Now here's The Gist.

The Game of Democracy

The Gist

For the record, I like SPAM sliders, fried and slapped on a Hawaiian bun with pickled red onion and mayonnaise but that’s not what this article is about. It's a part of our latest Serial, "Generational Change", from The Lorem Ipsum.

In this article, in addition to comparing email to a monstrous plant, I also cover how democracy across the world has found itself on life support.

Generational Change: The Game of Democracy
Democracy is not being tested. It’s not on trial by fire. It is gasping for air and it’s on life support because democracy is actually in danger.

Hurricane Memories

Bonus Content

Last week, when a life-changing hurricane hit Florida I was reminded of the one I crossed paths with several years ago in Louisiana.

During Hurricane Katrina, I was in a traveling rock band, scheduled for a full week of tour dates in Baton Rouge and New Orleans the week after the storm hit. After the storm made landfall, every show started dropping one after the other, as we toiled with whether to cancel the entire trip.

We didn't have other jobs, and every dollar mattered so we decided we would call everyone we know and collect donations that we could bring down to help out. Large gallons of water, or one man's ill-fitting jeans that might fit another just fine over his prosthetic leg. Anything that we could collect that – word on the street said – would be a worthy offering.

So we packed our trailer to the gills (no pun intended), stuffed our instruments where our bed was in the back of our van, squeezed in, and set sail down there from Indianapolis.

We played every show that remained standing and found a shelter that accepted and distributed our donations, while we sat and ate with people that were just trying to figure out what to do next. In Baton Rouge where most people were just fine, I met a young musician named Josh who felt generous and bought us all dinner – all of us struggling in one way or another.

He and I kept in touch, and l later produced a demo album for Josh and his band. I was sure this song 'Coming Home' was going to pay my mortgage one day. It's about a young man, presumably the writer, who could not keep his life straight, but always tried, through dark times. Through it all, his mother always welcomed him back.

The band failed for those very reasons and eventually, mine ended too, but this song (attached) still sticks with me digitally and in my heart. And now I'm sharing it with you. Enjoy Coming Home from Evangelina.

03 Coming Home

That's it for this week. Have a great weekend!

Support The Lorem Ipsum:

Tips: Support our mission and leave a tip