The Final Cut

How I spent four weeks focused on grass, plus the latest election news.

The Final Cut

Hey friends,

Good morning, especially to all of our Veterans out there. Thank you all for serving your country, some of you at a great cost.

This week, I cut my grass for the last time of the year. Hopefully.

In all, this year I've spent 152 hours cutting and managing grass. Or, in other words, I've spent four weeks' worth of business hours cutting grass.

I've spent at least twice that avoiding dirty looks from neighbors for not spending enough time on my lawn. I've also spent hundreds of dollars buying seed to give it a boost, chemicals because it wasn't good enough on its own, I've maintained a lawn mower, bought gas to run it, and have cancer from all the toxins of all the above.

Listen, I don't actually have cancer, but I am bitter, and bitterness is a cancer.

What next? Do I have to bag up the leaves? Well, I have a lot to say about that.

I'll get to that in a minute...

But first, let's get to The News.

Hot Takes

Week 45 of 2022

On My Own Mid-Terms

The US mid-term elections were exactly as expected, which is to say unexpected. As of this writing, several key races have not been called yet, including notably Senate races in Nevada, Arizona, and Georgia.

The Red Wave turned out to be more like Republicans splashing a little wine on Democrats' white shirts, but control of The House and Senate both remain undetermined. Election night (which for the record is currently at least four days long) was filled with oohs and ahhs as one Trumplican after the other lost their bids for election.

You can Bing literally any word and find takes on the elections, so I'll focus on the topics people aren't covering enough.

Here are some of MY highlights from election night:

Kari Lake, the candidate for Governor in Arizona who is trailing narrowly behind Kati Hobbs has announced new policies regarding updates to her latest headshots. She said she expected to continue using a soft focus.

Herschel Walker, who will face Raphael Warnock in a runoff election in December released a statement on election night, but no one actually understood what he was saying, but he did point at the end. Pollsters said the race was so close, it will likely come down to whether Walker's children vote for him or not.

Desantis, who won Florida by 20 points in his acceptance speech said he promises to pass Disney's taxes on to the middle class.

Beto O'rourke, who lost his bid for Governor in Texas after losing a bid for President just prior, announces he will consider his next candidacy. He reminds his supporters "we've got so much to lose" to which his record has proven.

And finally, JD Vance, after winning his election for Senator in Ohio announced that he decided to accept the election results after all.

(And here's the real coverage from Politico if you want to find out where the races stand right now)

Meta lays of 11,000

Facebook's parent company has laid off what is virtually a whole town's worth of people. And I do realize how meta it is to say virtually since Meta is focused on Virtual Reality these days and some say that is a part of what has led to the layoffs. More than that, declining ad revenues are to blame, but also hiring people to create something that currently is more similar to a dream in REM sleep than an actual product. In the following link, you'll see a leaked video of Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg announcing the layoffs, however, just a warning that due to his pale skin, he is nearly impossible to distinguish from the bright background. (more)

Russia pulls out of Kherson

The city Russia previously annexed and claimed was part of Russia "forever" is now a place Russia's army is fleeing. Perhaps they're trying the rhythm method but based on a sample size of one invasion, it doesn't seem to be working. Russia has sustained countless setbacks which they celebrate on Russian TV by saying they are achieving their goals and that they did it "on purpose!" (more)


Researchers observed octopuses deliberately throwing stuff at each other, including silt from the bottom of the sea. Just to be clear, scientists believe the act may be social, but warn that the cephalopods are armed. Six arms to be exact. (here's a video)

That's it for the news. Now here's The Gist.

Here's why you're crazy if you bag your leaves.

The Gist

There. I said it.

I'm going to keep this one simple. This brief read is something I've wanted to share for a while, and I released it to readers of our Long Reads list last night.

Here’s why you’re crazy if you bag your leaves.
After months of studying, countless reports have told us this.

After a fine week of talking about the elections, I'll leave you with this:

While election deniers dropped like flies falling from Mike Pence's hair, I wrote the following thread on why I will work hard to remove every single one of them.

That's it for this week. Have a great weekend!

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