An update on the now released and redacted affidavit and a question about whether or not you should be considered a freeloader.


Hey friends,

This week I am writing you from a vacation with the lovely Mrs. Lorem Ipsum. We've spent the week up in Traverse City, MI (down for you if you're Malcolm Gladwell or any other Canadian. Otherwise your direction may vary). We've been hiking through cliffs, as well as wineries, both of which are not as good as in California, but still truly underrated.

The coast of Lake Michigan is pretty amazing, because to the naked eye, it looks like an ocean without sharks, and since I have an irrational fear of sharks, it's perfect for me. I do not, however, have an irrational fear of wineries, where I feel very very safe.

Happy Labor Day Weekend

This week, I took it slow and delayed my writing schedule. To tide you over, I've highlighted some of my favorite articles over the last year. Articles I think you should read if you have the time.

I'll get to those in a minute...

But first, let's get to The News.

Hot Takes

Week 35 of 2022

The Affidavit Released

The Justice Department released the affidavit leading to Trump's house being raided and it says ️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️◼️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️,◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️,◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️!◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️ ◼️️◼️️ ◼️️◼️️◼️️️️️️️️️️◼️️️️️️️️️️, which is why you always leave a note.

This saga may be just the beginning of criminal charges, but that is to be determined. In Tangle, the daily newsletter covering both sides of the issues, Isaac Saul explains the details behind the affidavit and the raid earlier this week with sources from the left and the right. (here's more)

Tuesday night, the DOJ filed court documents claiming that Trump intentionally concealed and removed documents in order to obstruct the FBI investigation. To represent Trump in the legal aftermath, Trump has struggled to find attorneys to represent him, because half of them, he'd already stiffed, and the other half have an ethical obligation to follow the law. They did manage to find one guy licensed in Florida who will be conducting depositions and court appearances in swim trunks, a linen shirt, and flip-flops. (more)

More quick notes:

  • Newt Gingerich has been called to testify before the January 6th Committee. (Newt Flash)
  • Trump, in a speech, says he'll favor pardoning January 6th rioters if elected (Pardon me?)

So Spaced Out

No, we did not go to the moon this week, and while I'm not crying you're crying, you can bet your bottom billionth dollar we sure as heck will make it up there soon (starting with our robots). The Artemis Mission, initially scheduled for Monday was canceled due to a failed sensor. It was moved to today, which was later scrubbed due to bad weather. Currently, the launch is scheduled for tomorrow, but so is my latest FedEx delivery, so we'll see. Fortunately, this email has had very few complications preventing it from being launched to the dark side of your inbox. We'll watch closely to see if NASA will send a rocket to the moon, or if it will be marked as spam. (more)

Palin Comparison

Sarah Palin has lost a special election for the Alaska seat in Congress to Mary Peltola. What we've found is that the ranked-choice election ended up favoring voters rather than individual candidates running for office. Analysts also suggest that Alaska voters (many of them, no longer related to her after her divorce) don't like that she uses the term "okie dokie". (more)

Historic Flooding in Pakistan

Pakistan is under a flooding disaster beyond anything ever seen in history, which has affected 33 million people and covered one-third of the country. I'm sharing this as a heads up, because Pakistan, which contributes 1% of the world's emissions, may be sending us a bill for the damages. (more)

Mikhail Gorbachev  

The leader overseeing the ending of the cold war and the dismantling of the Soviet Union died. This was shocking to many of us worldwide, mostly because we thought he was already dead. Good news for his family that he wasn't, but now, having passed away at 91 years old, he will be remembered with a monument shaped like the grape juice stain on his forehead. (more)

Newsroom Drama

While The Lorem Ipsum thrives, the Washington Post is facing job cuts amid financial losses. Their CEO Fred Ryan, upon pulling records of Zoom meetings has determined they don't have enough meetings on Fridays (probably busy reading this newsletter, and who can blame 'em) . On the other hand, Fox News appears to be pretty popular, leading the cable news category including among young people.

The Lorem Ipsum still trails behind Fox, at least until you share it. (Here's how on Twitter, Facebook, and Linkedin).

Alien Technology

An astronomer thinks alien tech could be on the ocean floor, referring to a meteor that entered the atmosphere eight years ago. It could also be a rock, so naturally, he's going to spend 1.5 million dollars to find out. (more)

That's it for the news. Now here's The Gist.

Extra Credit

The Gist

Here are my latest feature articles, including the first installment of Generational Change, the first Serial from The Lorem Ipsum.

When Being Non-Partisan Leans Left
Being non-partisan is a tough job. One of the things we can be sure of, there aren’t very many good politicians. But no party has an exclusive on good ideas or dumb statements.
Generational Change: A War On Women
Only forty years ago, women were not able to get business loans without a man’s signature. Today, Women have achieved full access, but our system engineers them into the sidelines.It’s part of our Serial: How generational change is changing America.

These articles are slathered with comedy, but in one article's case, also butter.

When is ‘Too Soon’?
About the ongoing struggle of those who make people laugh For no less than four decades, I’ve been doing my best to put my money where my mouth is. Unfortunately, sometimes that can mean I need to wrap my money around my foot. Not because of any bad nail
Why I am afraid of cold butter
How the boogieman became fat when fat became the boogieman. I always get nostalgic during this time of year as we enter into the Holiday season. I begin to get a tingling feeling in my belly that I call anticipation. Anticipation for perhaps the most precious thing in our lives.

Finally, an article that is perhaps most poignant, is about how I failed to get into college.

Hey, Your College Degree is Blocking My View.
First of all, before I get too far, I would like to say congratulations to you on your college degree. I’m proud of you for preparing for, applying to, getting accepted, attending, and completing – college. Your degree is definitely worthy of space on your wall and I think you should

You Owe Us

Ask The Lorem Ipsum

Hey Daniel, I feel like I'm taking advantage of my fellow Americans. Do you think it's because I'm getting a portion of my student loan canceled by the Government? Am I a freeloader even though I likely work harder than most of my rich friends?

Trusting you for an answer – Middle Class Margot

I'll admit that I made up this question. I don't know anyone named Margot, except for Margot & The Nuclear So And So's (for your bonus listening pleasure), but I'm sure there are many Margots out there. That is, those who are Margot in spirit.

Yes. You should always pay your bills. That's the whole reason you exist. To borrow money from large institutions and then pay it back for the rest of your life, making every remaining life decision based on your ability to make the payment – and then to pay taxes on every dollar you make for the rest of your life.

That is unless you are in the top 5% of Americans, especially the ones who are their own boss.

You see, running a business is awesome (except when it's not). I've done this for just shy of two decades, and have enjoyed the tax avoidance tools that come with wrapping your finances up in a business. The Government supports these tax structures by intentionally reducing its income, benefitting the person that has the means to navigate it.

The tools are called tax incentives, tax deductions, and tax credits, where, as Kramer put it, you just "write it off". Lots of these write-offs are necessary to one guy, and "loopholes" to the guy running against him. Either way, they exist, and the rich and self-employed get to benefit from them the most.

Meanwhile, common Americans don't have as much flexibility. For most, to make a middle-class income statistically requires a degree. And most can only attend college if they get loans. In the worst-case scenario, those loans can't be bankrupted. It's true that there are workarounds (as you'll see in my above article), but it seems like for most, you can't avoid the loans, and you can't escape them.

Whether student loan forgiveness is a good thing or a bad thing is a matter for economists. It's unclear if student loan forgiveness under the HEROES Act is even proper use of the law. I'll leave that to the courts.

But it is not "unfair" or "irresponsible" for someone receiving the benefit. This is simply a tax credit for Margot, someone who usually doesn't get one.

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