Raiding Your Inbox

Explosive news and another issue of Ask TLI.

Raiding Your Inbox

Hey friends,

Good morning, and welcome to yet another issue of The Weekly – reliably delivered each Friday at about 6:30 AM eastern since August of 2021 – without missing a single week.

That's right. This email raids your inbox like a federal agent raids a resort in Mar-a-Lago. You can rest assured that this newsletter has never pleaded the fifth. And it never will. Probably.

For those of you who have been here all along, you already know this. For those of you who are new, welcome. This is the 51st issue. The 52nd if you count one correction on Halloween weekend, in the year of our Lord, two thousand and twenty-one. Next week marks one year of me sending this message.

Here are some quick program updates:

  • This email shows up on Friday morning. I'll break down the top headlines of the week and highlight a feature article. Maybe more. All sarcasm should be fact-checked.
  • Reply anytime. You can also comment below. Your thoughts are important to me and I always tell my friends how proud I am of you. You're so smart.
  • What you're missing. I also send out each long-form article by email. About 10% of you have signed up for that. You can select your newsletter preferences here if you need more inbox candy.
  • I'm launching Serials. These are article series diving into topics. The first examines how generational change is changing America. They'll be for paid subscribers, however, this first series is free to all members. I may launch this on its own newsletter someday.
  • Support the Mission. You can upgrade your membership here, for $5 monthly or $50 yearly. Literally cheaper than a half-price app at TGI Fridays each month, a restaurant that is not a sponsor. Loiterers are still welcome since I am an extrovert.

That's it for our progress at The Lorem Ipsum HQ. Now to plan for retirement.

I'll get to that in a minute. But first, let's get to The News.


Hot Takes

Week 32 of 2022

An Invasion

The big story this week is on all of our minds and you knew it would be our top feature this week. It happened Monday morning, and as much as we may have seen it coming, we were still shocked to see what transpired. Not just hypothetical, but Physical. That this would occur in someone's home is staggering, especially someone who had reached such influence, no matter how controversial they may have been. I personally got chills and they're multiplying.

Of course, I'm referring to the sad loss of Olivia Newton-John. She had been battling breast cancer for 30 years and died at her home on August 8th. Her husband John Easterling has more to say.

Trump Cowers

It's not just cancer that is invading people's homes this week, but also federal agents in Trump's Florida home. Although it is worth noting that many would say that Trump was the cancer in this case. A warrant was approved by Judge Bruce Reinhart, who was evidently appointed by Donald Trump himself in 2018. Although it's not public knowledge what the feds were searching for, we have it on good authority that they were searching for at minimum classified materials that trump stole from the Whitehouse and possibly more, including Hunter Biden's laptop and Hillary Clinton's deleted emails.

A.G. Merrick Garland announced that he approved seeking the warrant and has moved to make the details public. Several boxes of findings were taken from the house. It's hard to say whether the raid was successful but evidently, the safe which was broken into contained little more than an open packet of jolly ranchers and some extra ketchup packets. (Merrick's statement)

Since Trump has more lawsuits than oversized Italian suits, he was also deposed under oath this week by the New York Attorney General's office where he was able to invoke the fifth amendment hundreds of times. His most devoted followers see his response as a sign of strength and resolve in the face of a partisan attack. Literally, no one else with more than one news channel thinks that. (Here's more on the questioning under oath).

Climate Inflation

It's perhaps not the best name, but it's definitely the best bill that was passed by the Senate this week (it's also the only one). The bill does more to address the climate through incentives for businesses and individuals to move away from fossil fuels. The Congressional Budget Office has determined the bill will lower inflation by %0.1 unless it raises it by %o.1% – but it's not clear if the nonpartisan team was actually referring to Joe Manchin's campaign donations or his income from the fossil fuel industry. On the subject, Manchin is touting the bill as a victory because it doesn't fix the climate "too much". (Here's more on the bill).

IN the News

The news out of Indiana has been explosive as of late and this week it happens to be an actual explosion – a home in the southern Indiana city of Evansville blew up on Wednesday. Three died in the blast, and more than 30 nearby homes were damaged in some way. Officials assured the community that the explosion was not related to locals using the term "pop" instead of "soda" (More on the Explosion)


That's it for the news this week. Now here's a brief Ask TLI.

How to plan for retirement

Ask The Lorem Ipsum

Hey Daniel, I've been trying to develop my retirement strategy, and I'm wondering if a newsletter is the way to go, or if I should just invest in Web 3. On the other hand, is it smarter for me to just work as hard as possible and wait until I'm almost dead to start living? I could use your help working through this.    – Johnny "Has Been" Good

This is an excellent question, and I love that you feel comfortable asking this question in such a public forum, completely anonymously. It's clear to me that you are thinking about the future, and I'm certain you've done what most Americans have done to prepare for it – and by that, I mean paying into the flagship savings plan known as Social Security.

There are different schools of thought on retirement and the prequel known as life. Some are of the mindset that you should work at breakneck speeds until somewhere in your mid-70s when you will get the hardest and most demanding job in the world and stay there until you get fired or you die (hat tip to Joe B. for suggesting this plan). Others think you should spend approximately zero of your dollars aside from what is necessary to cover the cost of your cold-cut ham and cheese lunch sandwiches, with the goal of saving an enormous amount until a scheduled point in time when you can stop working and start spending your money on insulin, Hardee's coffee, and a couple trips to Disney.

Everyone needs to decide what's best for themselves, but ultimately there's a flaw with both of these options. First, getting the hardest job in the world might not work for everyone since this type of job only comes up every four years or so. Second, Hardee's coffee is actually really terrible – especially out of a styrofoam cup.

The third reason? I think the whole concept of retirement is an upside-down way of thinking about life. For many, when they have the most life in them, they live it the least – then they start living when it's time to start winding things down.

This reminds me of how we think about health. We would rather spend thousands on healthcare and save money on cheaper, mass-produced food, rather than the other way around. (Pro tip: a fresh tomato with salt and pepper tastes better than blood pressure medicine with Ranch dressing). Another thing you might want to let yourself taste is life. For example, if working 90 hours a week is necessary to meet your life goals, it's possible that no one is actually living that life while you're focusing on the goals. This upside-down thinking is all the more evident when we (at least in America) introduce ourselves by saying "what do you do for a living?" It seems like we define ourselves by our work, while our personal lives are on hold or just plain boring.

I once wrote an article about switching to a four-day workweek. And I recommend it (both the schedule and the article). I believe we should engineer our work around the life we want to live instead of the other way around. Each person's personal access to wealth might call for a unique approach, but the point is not to be unrealistic. No matter how much you love your work (and I am one of those people who does), the goal is to put living and happiness first.

You work for a living. You don't live for a working.

What do you think?


Do you have a question about how to set up your financial future so that you can buy billions of shares in companies from your suburban home when you're 91? Ask Warren Buffet. Have other questions? Ask The Lorem Ipsum. Just reply to this email. (I'll probably reword your question and change your name for protection.)

Until next time.

Have a great weekend!


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