Nancy The Diplomask

Nancy The Diplomask

Hey friends,

Good morning to everyone except for Donald Trump's legal team.

I've got a lot of news for you this week, so I'm going to have to refrain from sharing the latest suburban tropes about lawncare or run-ins with HOAs.

Obviously, those things are important, but we have other matters to cover. This week's issue of The Weekly is as full as my yard is full of crabgrass.

Let's get to The News.


Hot Takes

Week 31 of 2022

Hey Daniel, I was trying to load up CNN's website and after the three minutes it took for the site to load (because ads are high maintenance) I gave up. I noticed Nancy Pelosi was in the news. I know she is not just a fashion icon, but a champion for human rights, diplomacy, buying large amounts of stock in tech companies, being rich, and tearing up important papers at the State of The Union. I'm not sure I'd give her or CNN a fist bump, TBH. Basically, I'm looking for the dirt. What else is she up to these days?

–Josh H. from Missouri

Well, Josh... Nancy has indeed been up to something this week. It's actually almost totally clear what she is doing and why – at least when it comes to color coordination. Her official diplomatic visits are less coordinated – at least with The Whitehouse. Let's take a look in the first of this week's Hot Takes.

Nancy and the Diplomasks. Nancy Pelosi visited Taiwan this week in a symbolic visit and the first of its kind in 25 years. The matching turquoise masks made the photo op with all the diplomatic designees really pop. The main reason for the visit was to celebrate Taiwan as a sovereign democracy situated next to totalitarian China – a place that is more like being at a church camp where there are all kinds of fun things you would like to do, but your youth leaders are making you participate in worship services. Except the religion is Chinese economic communism and the youth leaders are all Kim Jong-un. While un's hairdo makes him the subject of countless jokes, he considers it a symbol of power, and as a youth group member, you have none.

Pelosi didn't say anything about religion unless the religion is actually American-style democracy (the previous version from the early-mid 2000s where you would get to vote for your government officials). The Biden administration has refrained from endorsing her trip and says her running an errand says nothing about US foreign policy.



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