It's Probably Allergies

This is why Washington doesn't like to let people work from home.

It's Probably Allergies

Note: You're reading The Lorem Ipsum by Daniel Herndon. A Funny Email About Serious Topics. Make sure your inbox gets it by signing up here.

Hey Friends,

Good Morning to everyone not experiencing a tickle in their throat.

I would recommend you stay at least three feet away from this email for between three and five days out of an abundance of caution. Both I and, subsequently, this newsletter have been exposed to Covid. My concern is not about brief interactions with The Lorem Ipsum, but the possibility of being in the same inbox for more than 15 minutes. Hopefully, We'll get snubbed by Covid just like I did the Academy Awards and we can all move on.

Stay safe out there during this cold/flu/covid/RSV/Oscars/seasonal affective disorder season.

New Stuff

This weekend, you'll receive another installment from Made From Leftovers – Chapter 3, which will be available to paid subscribers. As a reminder, Made From Leftovers is a memoir that I've written over the years and kept in draft mode. The book examines the impact and the unlikely escape from poverty. Here's a link to the introduction and the first chapter, which is available for free to subscribers.

For now, let's get to The News.

Hot Takes

Week 04 of 2023

Silicon's Valley

Big Tech firms have been announcing major layoffs over the last few weeks, and Google is the latest, with 12,000 layoffs (including 31 massage therapists). Other giants like Amazon, Meta, Salesforce, and Microsoft have also been among those to slash five figures of employee headcount. The significant shift in employment is due to contracting revenues and profits seen across the tech industry due to a pullback in advertising dollars and other factors.  The above mentioned companies during the pandemic hired well over the numbers they are cutting. The largest tech companies still have massive cash reserves and still offer plenty of perks to their remaining employees, even if you have to wait in line for a massage now. The large cut back in workforce is causing anxiety among millennials, some fearing they may have to work for companies where their performance is measured which many say is "not fair." (more)

In related news, Alphabet, the parent company of Google, was handed an antitrust lawsuit this week by the DOJ and eight states who claim Alphabet has an unfair monopoly for Google's Advertising Ecosystem (which we advertisers just call "advertising"). Plaintiffs especially expressed concern with the use of certain search-related language, opting in their documents and opening statements for the term "looked something up" when other terms might have been the easier option. (more)

The Ticket Masters

If you want to buy a ticket to a concert, Taylor Swift or otherwise, it will be $79 plus $129,624.99 in fees. Plus, they'll be sold out because ticket bots are swifter than T-Swift herself – so you'll have to buy them from scalpers charging even more. The Government is blaming Ticket Master for this problem (kind of like all of us are), saying their apparent monopoly on ticket sales harms consumers.

To discuss the issue, The Senate Judiciary Committee held a hearing this week titled “That’s the Ticket,” headlined by Senator Amy Klobuchar. Rumored reports have surfaced that Senate event parking was another $40, and a domestic beer was $20, but there weren't many options. (more)

Meta Data

Trump's accounts on Facebook and Instagram will be reinstated in the coming weeks after two years of shutdown. Trump, who has gotten used to being "truthed" on his own platform, Truth Social, is now at risk of being "booked" not on Facebook but by the Department of Justice if the criminal case against him ends in charges. (more)

Tanks for Tots

Germany has agreed to send tanks to Ukraine to aid in their defense against the Russian Invasion. Initially, when asked to send Leopard 2 tanks, officials said "nein" but in the last few days, they've agreed to send "fourteen" tanks, making us think things must be really tight right now. (more)

California Shootings

Three mass shootings took place in California in less than 48 hours, killing 19 people, starting with the heartbreaking killings at a dance studio. There have been 40 mass shootings in America this month. I'll add my views right here:

Most people's opinions on public policy change based on whether they are looking across the country or across the dinner table. While some say "long live the Second Amendment" so we can "protect ourselves," others say in frustration, "only in America." when they look at the number of deaths. Personally, I think guns seem cool and possibly even useful at times, but it is indisputable that the second amendment and our attitudes towards it do not save lives but cost them. You can consider this my shortest blog. (more)

That's it for the news. Now here's The Gist.

Reading The Classifieds

The Gist

Everyone is being caught with mishandled or misplaced classified documents. Biden, Trump, Pence. Who's next? Kayleigh Mcenany? This is why Washington doesn't like to let people work from home, which is ruining remote work for the rest of us more productive people. If we don't put a stop to the issue in the near term, we'll soon be deleting servers full of emails, and our kids will start throwing away old laptops.

The Document Scandal is an issue, but its roots are as old as manila folders. Tom Blanton, who runs the National Security Archive, says that politicians and misplacing classified documents "happens all the time." We're talking about people who work nearly 24 hours per day, no matter what location they are at for their entire term in office.

Documents marked SCI (Sensitive Compartmented Information) may be more concerning, like some of those found at Trump's Mar A Lago resort, because they can include secret intelligence information but it's hardly suprising that a former president would have them. In general, documents labeled "classified," which routinely end up in the hands of Presidents, Vice Presidents, and Congress people, can include travel briefings, soone to be public news briefings or other public information like plans to eat a hot dog during a ball game as an opportunity to seem American.

This means that it's not marginally interesting that a President or VEEP may have classified documents in their possession, perhaps even in their home. What might be more interesting is that in Biden's case, he almost certainly held the documents upside down for the first thirty seconds or so before an aid pointed it out. But it appears that misplacing classified documents is – to use political terms – normal. What isn't normal is to say "fuck you" for 18 months when the National Archives staff is simply trying to do its job and archive things, some of which may include information about more than just hotdogs.

Annually somewhere around 50 million documents are classified each year, which is equivalent to the number of credit card offers I receive in the mail during the same timeframe. I can't even keep track of where I left my sunglasses. Imagine if my sunglasses were classified. I'd need an FBI raid just to help me find every time I go to Costco.

The Classified Document Scandal is going to cost Biden politically. If history tells us anything, Trump's role in a his documents scandal will make him a martyr, and Linsday Graham will probably cuss a little bit while talking out of both sides of his mouth.

I've been following the story for a while now, and it's become pretty clear to me what the problem is – a slow news cycle.

That's it for this week.

If you have a moment, please share this email with a friend whenever possible. You can do this by printing this entire email, single-sided and in full color, and then delivering it to someone's desk with a handwritten note on it. If you want to save costs due to inflation, consider just forwarding it or sharing it online.

Have a great weekend!

Support The Lorem Ipsum:

Share: The Lorem Ipsum is better with friends, so please share it across the internet, in places like Twitter, Facebook, and Linkedin.
Founders: If you like The Lorem Ipsum and want to keep it going, become a Founder for as little as $4.17 per month, or just leave a tip.