Fit For A King

Boosting your immunity this week, plus what I do while I'm not grilling the perfect hot dog.

Fit For A King
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Hey Friends,

Good morning to everyone except anyone who lost a finger in last night's festivities.

If I’m being honest, no newsletter writer wanted to write one on the Fourth of July amidst perfecting the burnishing of tube meat, but yesterday, I did, which, at the time of this writing, was now. I guess that's what you have to do when you live in a Hot Dog Republic. Happy Independence Day to my US readers who celebrate, and Happy Friday to everyone.

It's been a tough week for Joe Biden after his performance in last Thursday's debate cast a shadow on his campaign. Despite calls for Joe to step aside, he insists he will continue his agenda to build the economy and create jobs. His critics on the left say he should start by creating just one.

So, if you're looking for a job, word on the streets is the United States might be hiring. The job post is also my latest article. Find it here:

Help Wanted
Seeking unqualified candidates for the most powerful role in the world.

Let's get to The News.

Hot Takes

This 27th Week of 2024

Presidents are Now Kings

If Presidential Immunity referred to Joe Biden's resistance to a cold, we would not be calling for him to step down, but unfortunately, when Joe is a little flush, it throws his performance off to the point of causing a national security disaster. It's the job of the United States President to talk on all things of national importance, which means, if you want to run for the biggest office, you better keep some Tums in that extra pocket so you can speak with clarity, cast a vision, and project more ideas than phlegm.

The good news for Joe is that any official act a president takes is not a crime, so because of the ruling, the Biden Crime Family will be changing its name to the Biden Official Acts Family.

But despite my criticism, nothing a president does is actually wrong. Presidents are now kings, thanks to the indisputable Supreme Court Justices who ruled that the President of The United States can effectively overthrow their own government and order political rivals to be assassinated, and it is completely legal. Much like me, as I operate in the capacity of a newsletter writer, I can't be held personally liable for anything I write personally, thankfully, and so too is anyone who wins the White House.

In practical terms, this means all the impractical things I said above about overthrowing the government. So, as Donald Trump has several criminal charges pending, he may not be able to be held responsible for his attempt to overthrow an election he lost with flying colors – unless the courts can prove that his actions indisputably fall outside of the purview of his job.

The problem with these acts–the attempt to throw out an election and halt a transfer of power–do fall within the scope of the job of the president, even if the actions taken by Trump would be a felony for anyone else in the country to do. The ruling says that immunity for official presidential acts is "absolute" or at least "presumptive." By my reading, this ruling makes it nearly impossible to discern what an official and unofficial act is, at least for all things in the middle. That means this ruling, if words mean anything, most definitely enables Trump and future presidents to do whatever they want, including expand their own power and prevent the election of another. The only one who can judge them is the Supreme Court. But they'll have to reinterpret history just as this court did to determine if a president can be held liable, and if so, for what.

Justice Sonia Sotomayor wrote a scathing dissent, expressing her fear for our democracy. Even the Conservative Justice, Amy Coney Barret, disagreed in part, just enough to sign on to the decision while calling it preposterous in its breadth.

This is a fantastic win for Trump and a wild expansion of the powers of the presidency. From here on out, presidents can add pasta to their chili or eat raw cookie dough and no one can do anything about it. Direct Seal Team 6 to abduct John Fetterman and force him to wear pants? Immune! Organize a military coup to convert every fast food restaurant into a Skyline Chili? Immune! Immune, immune, immune.

I agree with what Amy was saying between the lines; a decade ago, a similar ruling would have been satire. But today, it's history. We see with our own eyes that the wild hypotheticals are not as far-fetched as they once were, and ignoring that is how democracies fall. Giving more power to a president without the risk of consequences threatens the independence we celebrate.

Happy Fourth of July weekend.

That's it for this week.

Remember: "American's Run on Ipsum." Share The Lorem Ipsum with a friend this weekend.

Have a great weekend!

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