The 100th Publishing

In just over a year The Lorem Ipsum has published 100 articles and newsletters. Here's the mission of the publication along with something new.

The 100th Publishing

Good Morning, Friends.

This week, we celebrated Independence Day in the USA. We do this by drinking cheap American beer that flows like the blood of British soldiers, watered down by the tears of King George III.

Much like Puerto Rico today, we were once under the thumb of a powerful empire that taxed us without giving us a voice in our Government. But now, we're a free nation.

When we say let freedom ring, we're not just talking about the ringing people in Chicago are hearing in their ears following a mass shooting at an Independence day festival. We're also referring to the bell our side rang after winning our independence by revolting against the government and killing 25,000 British soldiers, and again after killing 258,000 Confederate soldiers to keep it that way.

That's the sound of a well-regulated militia if I ever heard one, for all you second amendment fans out there. And it calls for a hot dog.

100 Posts

And Something New

Happy Independence Day week.

This is the 100th post from The Lorem Ipsum. Welcome both new and old subscribers. Thank you for allowing me into your inbox (and for some of you, your promotions tab).  I feel privileged every week that you would read my work.

A friend once asked, "Why do you write a newsletter, Daniel?".

My response?

"Do we have to call it a newsletter?"

Upon reflection, I decided that was a good question, so I took the time to process how to articulate the mission of The Lorem Ipsum.  

The Mission

To make you laugh while making you think.

I'm reminded of a line from Doug Renetti, one of the lead characters in the HBO show Minx where Doug (played by Jake Johnson) is the proprietor of a studio producing a series of trashy magazines. One single line hooked me on this show. And no, it wasn't "Like A Shvantz Right In The Face".

He said: "You gotta hide the medicine."

The show follows the fictional story of a 1970s writer and feminist activist Joyce Prigger, played by Ophelia Lovibond, whose first comment after you meet her at a cocktail party is "yes, they're real" – referring of course to her first and last name which is convenient and catchy if not poetic.

As she fails to get her activist magazine picked up by her first choice publishers, she finds herself faced with her last – a sleazy man sporting a hairy chest and a gold chain necklace who publishes a repertoire of porn magazines.

He offers her the big break she wants, but he insists there will need to be some male nudes to appeal to the empowered women she wants to reach. She says she wants to offer more depth to her readers.

"You gotta hide the medicine." Renetti tells her, "It's like when you give a dog a pill, you dip it in peanut butter first."

In a world so divided, we have either Facebook friends or enemies and I couldn't agree more. Here's how I put it in "When Is Too Soon?", an 1100 word piece I wrote back in March when I was forced to make light of a very tough topic.

I believe we need good medicine, and some medicine is hard to swallow, but we need to take it nonetheless. Laughter, however, is the best medicine and that makes the former go down better.

That's why I launched The Lorem Ipsum. I was initially going to call it "chicken soup for the soul", but after learning that name had already been taken and has had some success already, I had to change direction. Naturally, I put lorem ipsum in as a placeholder as all good marketers and design typesetters do. Eventually, I decided that was going to be the actual name, and I hit send on the first email.

I put thought and research into every email and every long-form article. I don't expect to be right about everything. I don't expect to change your mind on anything. I do expect to make you think. And every once in a while, if the writing gods smile upon us both, I may even make you laugh in the process.

That sounds great! How do I support you?

If you want to support my work, you can. Today, I am launching a premium membership for founding members. It's a completely optional way to support the mission of The Lorem Ipsum. The Weekly you receive on Fridays will always be offered as a free subscription. There will always be articles available to the public, who can choose never to identify themselves with an email, even if we recognize the smell of their musk.

Soon, there will be more coming from The Lorem Ipsum, including content available only to paying subscribers. Expect to see work from some contributing writers who will provide expert opinions and first-hand perspectives. Expect to see more content, some new formats, and more.  But I don't want to do anything if I can't produce it thoughtfully and with excellence. I need your support to do that. Founders will be the first to receive that content.

I don't know whether I will get one subscriber or one thousand. But to all of you, thank you for reading, and thank you for thinking with me.

Here's The News.

Hot Takes

Week 27 of 2022

  • "Them's The Breaks" is what UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson said as he was delivering his resignation speech to the public. A Cabinet revolt brought multiple resignations, forcing his Borexit.

    Boris is known for his untucked shirts and his disheveled hair. His Conservative Party colleagues have claimed he is toxic, not just because he comes off as a clown, but because he has convinced them he is one. Unfortunately, attempts to occasionally clasp his belt properly were not enough to overcome his party's lack of confidence.
  • A Grand Jury in Georgia has subpoenaed several in a criminal investigation including Rudy Giuliani, Lindsey Graham, John Eastman and several others in the former president’s orbit.

    Giuliani's attorney says he has "no current comment" but is expected to show up drunk. Graham has said he will cooperate with the investigation and also that he won't cooperate.
  • TEMPLATE TAKE. This week, there was a mass shooting in town or city at a safe public location, killing number innocent victims, reminding us of a gun culture problem that is uniquely American.

    This week you can insert "Highland Park, Chicago" and "crowded July 4th parade" and "6" into the template, except when referring to the 14 other mass shootings that also took place this week, including 9 that same day.
  • A State of Emergency. Akron, Ohio, declared a state of emergency after protests broke out over the fatal police shooting of Jayland Walker (no relation to the minor misdemeanor "jay walking" found under section 4511.50 of Ohio Law).

    Jayland was pulled over for a minor traffic violation, which escalated into a traffic pursuit and an alleged firing of a gun from Jayland's car, resulting in him being shot, over 60 times. The timeline and footage released by Akron Police can be seen here.
  • Filibusted. President Biden said he supports an exception to the filibuster rules in order to codify abortion protections into law, despite not being able to say filibuster if put on the spot. Senators Manchin and Sinema oppose the filibuster, each saying the word three times fast.
  • Biden with the Assist. WNBA star Brittney Griner is in Russian prison for drug possession and faces 10 years. She recently sent a letter to President Joe Biden pleading for help to be released from a prison in Russia. President Biden said he would pursue every avenue for her release.
  • Caan't Believe It. Actor James Caan has died at the age of 82. That's the guy from The Godfather, which for many of you is a movie that stars the dad from Elf. His death leaves his biggest fans in Misery (like the actor himself was in 1990).
  • Theranos Executive, Sunny Balwani was found guilty of fraud on 12 counts, leaving us fewer opportunities to say such a soothing name. Sunny will need up to 20 years worth of lotion for each count of fraud, depending on his sentence.
  • Quickly. Former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe collapsed after an apparent gunshot and was hospitalized. This is a developing story.

That wraps up the news this week, and this 100th publishing. Enjoy your weekend!