Pee's Wee

Hey Friends,

Paul Reuben, known for his role as Pee Wee (and for showing his in a seedy theatre), has died. Unfortunately, Pee Wee's Big Adventure has come to an end.

This is a time when one wants to scream Mecca lecca hi, mecca hiney ho, and wish for just one more episode of the show that first introduced us to what we now call Zoom calls.

Reuben wasn’t the only one getting caught with his wee out.

I’m talking about Big Top Pee Wee, the political operative known as the head of the Republican Party. The former president was arrested for the third time this year and brought before a judge.

Here's a screenshot of the cover of the New York Times this week with minor edits for clarity.

Donald Trump is now the first, second, and third president to receive a criminal indictment. In classic, I know you are, but what am I fashion, Donald Trump blamed Biden and pointed his fingers at the Hunter Biden investigation.

The indictment says it plainly: He was entitled to say whatever he wanted about the election. Even lie. But he was not entitled to commit crimes to overturn it, and that's what he did. Jack Smith brings those claims to a court of law.

Trump was arrested and arraigned at 4:00 pm yesterday in Washington, DC. He was fingerprinted and read his charges like a common criminal. He pleaded not guilty. A fourth indictment is expected in Georgia later this month.

Today, Trump remains the front-runner among Republican presidential candidates. He's facing a race against Joe Biden and 50 years in prison at the same time – and can barely shake the support of his party, even by trying.

Listen, when I found out that Jack Johnson had a beer bottle opener on the bottom of his sandals, I lost all respect. At that point, I was completely done. But turn the Grand Old Party into a circus, and even the women under the big top embraced it by wearing gold wigs to fit in while they let their beards grow out for sideshow fodder.

When Franz Ferdinand asked, "Who farted?" no one looked around the cafe awkwardly, wondering if it was something lingering in his mustache. The Bosnian Serbs said, “The smeller was the feller,” and took him out, starting World War I.

As for Trump, he'll drop a large one, deny it, and before you know it, the Republican party is on their knees sniffing his chair.

A friend told me, "They are all corrupt. They all do it. He just does it in the open."

I responded with concession. Yes. Maybe everyone in Washington is corrupt. Maybe they all use their office to make money, conduct shady deals, and pull the wool over the eyes of America at every chance. But one – only one – has tried to take away our right to decide if he gets to keep the job.

At his sentencing, no matter what kind of time he faces, I'll be shouting, "Four more years."

Here's The News.

Hot Takes

Week 31 of 2023

AA+

Fitch has lowered the USA's credit rating from one kind of battery to a smaller kind of battery (from AAA to AA+). Stocks struggled on the news like a remote control floundering right when you need it. When asked about the impact of the rating, analysts explain that while we may no longer be first in the phone book, the change is more symbolic than impactful. (more)

LED The Way

We'll be looking at energy policy in a new light starting this month. The USA has effectively banned incandescent lights, causing panic amongst swanky interior designers for the loss of Edison bulbs. The goal, by reducing energy use per lumen, saves on energy consumption, and lowers the country's carbon footprint. (more)

Big Trouble

Lizzo is getting heavy criticism for allegedly fat-shaming an employee on her dance troupe. Instead of being fitted for her next bodysuit, she's being fitted for a lawsuit from three employees who say she created a hostile work environment. Lizzo denied the allegations, saying something along the lines of "It ain't my fault that I'm out here making news. I'm the pudding in the proof. Gotta blame it on my juice." which can be summarized as "these allegations are false." (more )

Always be Trudeau

Justin Trudeau and his wife, Sophie, are separating after 18 years of marriage, which they both announced on Instagram. Canadians are sad about the announcement, but some have suggested the separation was long coming. It was 10 years ago Justin admitted to facing "ups and downs" in their marriage, saying, "I have a very difficult, high-pressured job. Everyone knows how challenging it is to balance family responsibilities with a job that takes me across the country and working extremely hard." to which the interviewer said "It's Trudeau!" (more)

That's it for this week.

Thanks for reading and sharing.

Have a great weekend!

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