Invasions, Insurrections and Indictments

Invasions, Insurrections and Indictments

We’re resorting to invasions instead of invitations.

Based on history alone, it appears it is much better to be the leader of a totalitarian government than it is to be, say, a homeowner. The difference is astounding. When you invade a country, you’re deemed a hero and a powerful strategist if not also an evil leader. The same is not true with homeownership. At least not in the suburbs. When you extend your fence beyond the surveyed property lines, or perhaps annex a part of the driveway entrance by parking your car in front of it, you’re not considered a hero or a dictator. You’re just considered a dick.

For those of you evaluating your future career options, including taking a role as a dictator, perhaps one of the biggest considerations is that if you are a traditional suburbanite, you can’t assassinate your neighbor for not properly caring for their lawn the way you think they should, but as the leader of a powerful country, you can do so, seemingly with impunity.

Nonetheless, people are taking to invasions before diplomacy these days, not just in the suburbs, but across the world.

A you a Leader or a Dictator?

Let’s say that your HOA has a rule against storing toilets in the backyard of one’s private property after uninstalling them. It seems more common for HOA leadership to forgo community improvements and snow removal in exchange for suing the homeowner with a shitter in their yard–instead of just having a cup of coffee and a conversation with them to propose a plan on how they can live in peace.

Now, I can’t say if this is based on a true story, but you suburbanites–you know what I’m talking about. Sooner than anyone would have a friendly conversation with a neighbor, they’ll serve papers (and I’m not talking about toilet paper).

So as the duly elected official who gets the benefit of not only tendering the most votes, but also receiving the most votes, you have the opportunity to exercise your power over the person who has to do his own plumbing between work days to make ends meet.

It must be nice to be a dictator.

Listen, sometimes swift and decisive action needs to be taken. From time to time, you may need to drive your semi-truck to the capital to make a point, and if there is enough funding, you might need to set up camp for several weeks. Maybe even with a professional sound system and hired speakers to rally a crowd.

Taking the offensive strategy makes sense to the person who’s angry, but before you know it, the offensive strategy may cost you more than the original infraction you are complaining about. Just ask the three guys sentenced to life in prison for killing Aumad Arbury for jogging in a white neighborhood.

Hindsight is twenty-fifteen. I only say that because over the last several decades, I’ve had nearly perfect (or slightly better than perfect) vision, and plan on it never degrading. But when I look back on life and examine the ways I did what I believed I needed to do to make a point, or the times I made an example out of someone, no matter how right I was, it usually did nothing to solve the problem. In so many cases, when I could see the details more clearly with twenty fifteen vision, it would have been better to have a beverage with the person I was at odds with. Much like the beer summit of 2009. Despite then Vice President Joe Biden drinking a non-alcoholic beer, the gesture diffused what could have been a major dispute based on matters of race and jurisdiction.

Unfortunately, the race riots of 2020 were an example of things going in a much different direction. 2020 saw too much of this sentiment, only to be capped off with an invasion of the US capital.

Swallowing your pride is hard to do.

On the 28th of June in 1914, the Archduke of Austria, Franz Ferdinand was pursued by members of Young Bosnia, a revolutionary movement. After attempting to bomb the Archduke and his wife on a drive to the Governors house, the grenade lunged at them leading to unsuspecting people nearby being injured instead.

When the two went to visit the injured in the hospital a Young Bosnian assassin, Gavrilo Princip came upon them and took his opportunity. He shot the Archduke's wife in the abdomen, followed by the Archduke himself in the neck. The two died shortly after, igniting World War I which killed 40 million people.

I don’t know what this tells you about running an HOA or Canadian trucking company. Or your dictatorship for that matter. I’m simply saying it is worthy of reflection to determine if the cost of making a point through offensive tactics is worth the price.

And is it necessary?

It only takes one Franz Ferdinand assassination to start a World War, but it takes less than two non alcoholic beers to end one.


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