Hunter and The Hunted
If you were President, what would you do on day one? About Hunter Biden. Plus, This week's news.
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Hey Everyone,
If you were President, what would you do on day one?
I know exactly what I would do. I'd get into that oval office, call in all the key leaders of the country, the military, national intelligence, and all of my cabinet, and say one thing.
"Alright, I'm ready for a briefing on all things UFOs!"
Ezra Kline has more on this in a recent podcast episode:
Leslie Kean helped break the news of a whistle-blower who claims the government possesses materials from a craft of “nonhuman origin.” We discuss the story — and what remains unclear.
Until then, let's get to The News.
Hot Takes
Week 25 of 2023
Sub Marine
A deep sea submersible carrying five people was lost on Monday. The deep sea tour visiting the remains of the Titanic on the ocean floor was operated by OceanGate (no relation to Watergate), a company that had made visiting the Titanic accessible to anyone, as long as you can pay $250,000 for a ticket. Several major pieces of the vessel were found on Thursday, and all five passengers are presumed dead from a catastrophic implosion.
According to one expert who commented on underwater adventures back in 1966, we all live in a yellow submarine, our friends are all aboard, and many more of them live next door. However, this is currently a matter of debate. (more)
Justice I Thought
Justice Alito defended himself for hanging out with billionaire Paul Singer on a lavish fishing trip in 2008 consisting of private jet trips and $1000 bottles of wine. The pleasure weekend drew criticism from ProPublica, suggesting he should have disclosed the trip to avoid an ethics violation, and should have recused himself from cases Singer was connected to. Alito defended the event in a Wall Street Journal op-ed and said that the wine wasn't really “$1000 good” anyway.
The Lorem Ipsum's take: What are we going to do? Fire him?
Schiff Competition
Representative Adam Schiff was censured on Wednesday by a GOP party-line vote, because he investigated Donald Trump, a man who has been indicted on multiple crimes. After presenting Shiff with the resolution, he thanked them by saying "You honor me with your enmity. You flatter me with this falsehood."
Nancy Pelosi called the event "a puppet show" which sounds like great family entertainment until you find out that George Santos is one of the puppets, who in his case, is currently out on bond, after being charged with wire fraud and money laundering, however he has yet to launder his signature blue sweater. (more)
Modi At the Whitehouse
At the White House on Thursday, President Biden hosted Prime Minister Narendra Modi of India for a private vegetarian dinner with lots of Indian inspiration, including Indian spices. Some expressed concern about the dinner in general, but the Biden Administration says it’s a naan issue. After the meal, the plan was for the two to tour the Whitehouse and, in precise timing, the bathrooms. (more)
Stunned Young Guns
A federal judge on Wednesday sentenced a rioter who drove a stun gun into a Capital Police Officer's neck during the January 6 Riots at the Capital. Daniel “D.J.” Rodriguez received a sentence of 12 years, which means he may get to spend a lot more time with Trump soon. (more)
That's it for the news. Now here's this week's Feature.
Hunter and The Hunted
Feature Story
Hunter Biden probably wishes he had never left that laptop in a repair shop in Delaware. If I were him, I'd ask the guy that runs the shop for my money back and use it to pay my taxes. But that's just me. I'd also delete all my nude pictures before handing out my laptop to anyone who isn't also in those pictures. But I've always been tech-savvy and have never been the son of someone who works in the Whitehouse.
This week, Hunter Biden pleaded guilty to misdemeanor tax charges, an agreement which allows him to avoid prosecution on separate charges for purchasing a gun in 2018 when he was using drugs. The plea is likely to end his legal woes, but the Republican Party said this only strengthens their effort to investigate the Bidens.
Rep. James Comer, chairman of the House Oversight Committee, has vowed to continue investigating the "Biden crime family." By proxy, they want to prosecute the President. I suspect President Biden is corrupt only because he is in politics. It seems like his son has tried to make money off of his connection to “The Big Man” and while it hints of impropriety, but it sounds more like someone using a giant LinkedIn account. Apparently even sons of Presidents use their connections and resume to get work.
Hunter has been dealing with troubles since the moment he was injured in a car accident where his mom and sister died. Whether that deadly accident was the first domino to a series of unfortunate events or simply something to blame his smoking habit on is hard to know.
One thing we can be confident in is that Hunter Biden is not a victim of a corrupt justice department. Hunter needed to be investigated, and more than likely needs to be charged. It's probably reasonable that he reached a plea deal too. And for the Big Man, I think a world where our leaders are held to account is a better world to live in.
Hunter has not made America proud, but Hunter is not the President, and if he were, his crime syndicate would be prosaic compared to his White House predecessor.
Your Questions
The answers to most of our questions are on Hunter‘s laptop. For everything else, there’s Ask The Lorem Ipsum.
Send your questions to [email protected].
That's it for this week.
Thanks for being here and sharing around the world.
Have a great weekend!
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