Back in Time

What I've been thinking about since 2012, the Orange Prints and a little time travel. It's this week's news.

Back in Time

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Hey Friends,

Welcome to a slow news week – since, basically, nothing interesting happened.

Well, except for this...

Fingerprints of Defendant, DJT

Literally, the orangest fingerprints I have ever seen in my entire life.

Besides that, we're doing a little time travel.

Let's get to The News.

Hot Takes

Week 24 of 2023

A Former US President Was Arrested. Again.

It was the second time in a year Donald Trump turned himself in on a Tuesday. This time he was charged with federal crimes, once again making history by being the first US President to demonstrate why we can't have nice things.

Like 1-800-Collect, Trump ought to be a thing of the past, but unfortunately, the man still has our calling card, and he’s making us pay for it. After first trying to scam our Allies in Ukraine in his first year in office, he proceeded to scam all the rest of us, then did his level best to convince The Dukes of Hazard to kill his VP and Democracy while they’re at it. Now, we sit here on either side of the aisle, like we're on the other end of a dial tone, not sure what just happened.

After being arraigned in Miami, Trump left the court to a crowd of supporters, whose small size can only compare to that of the defendant's hands. Immediately followed by a campaign stop at a popular Miami Cuban restaurant, where he greeted supporters and skipped the meal and the bill. He left in his motorcade and ate MacDonald's on his way to a campaign speech. (more)

WoMen Pastors

This week the Southern Baptist Convention said, "Give me that Old Time Religion" by voting to expel the women pastors of several churches. According to the Denomination, "Scripture reserves the office of pastor for men." It was the same denomination that was accused of harboring sexual abusers.

The Convention represents the largest Protestant church group. This week, in order to be hip and relevant, several SBC churches are expected to be opening services with a rendition of Huey Lewis' classic hit "Back In Time." (more)

The Federal is Reserved

In breaking news this week, nothing happened. Interest rates were neither increased nor decreased, although, to be honest, I was starting to lose interest entirely. Inflation now seems to be under control, especially thanks to the GDP getting a little bit of warm weather exercise. (more)

Cuz U White

A Starbucks employee says she was fired because she is white and after taking it to court, a jury of her peers agreed with her. She is now celebrating her firing after being awarded $25.6 million in damages to cover loss wages and, apparently, some found ones too. (more)

It's a Fake Hangup

Kelis, the "Milkshake" singer, has apparently been packing a little bit of Ensure to bring Bill Murray to the yard, according to rumors. When Kelis was asked if she was dating Murray, the actor famous for movies like Stripes, What About Bob, and Ghostbusters, she said, "Everyone's dumb and will believe anything." According to one report, when Bill was asked the same back on February second, his response was, "Didn't you just ask me that?" (more)

That's it for the news. Now here's this week's Feature.

In Case You Missed It

Weekly Feature

I started The Lorem Ipsum to make you laugh while making you think. Like many of you, I've been thinking since at least 2012, if not before then. It took me until 2021 to decide to publish those thoughts and invite you to read them.

Back in 2012, I was tapped to co-write the book Facebook All In One For Dummies on Wiley Publishing. The act of writing 325 pages of content with three layers of editors and a popular publishing franchise was rewarding, but it made me process social media through a new lens. Today, I barely use social media. (I'm there, and I'll respond, but I'm no longer as active as I used to be).

What I've learned, in addition to how to do the floss dance, is that social media offers an abundance of wasted time and a grossly inaccurate view of the real world. Furthermore, it offers you very little control over the content you see. According to Adam Tinworth of One Man and His Blog, many people still use social media as their main source for news. This means most people's view of the world is still what an algorithm permits, however much curation one attempts.

This week, I published an article offering my reflections on where we get our news and which places we writers use for source material. The article has a generous free preview, but the second half sits behind a paywall. If you want to read it, you can sign up for a free trial and cancel before you get charged (I won't be offended, but I will skip lunch this week once in honor of the opportunity cost for each trial that is canceled).

The article has already received rave reviews, including this one from a reader, turned article contributor, turned friend:

Consider taking the time to read my latest article, Good Source Material.

Good Source Material
The best things in life are free, but good writing isn’t cheap.

That's it for this week.

Thanks for being here and sharing around the world.

Have a great weekend!

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