How to Avoid Phishing Scams

Hey Everyone,

If someone you don't know or trust sends you an email saying, without evidence, that there is a problem with your bank account, don't trust them. It's probably a phishing scam.

Or it's Congress trying to impeach you.

It could be both. Either way, these sorts of things impact the elderly more than anyone, especially this time of year, so be on the lookout if you’re in your 80s or the President of the United States or both.

Below, I have tips on how to avoid being duped by internet scammers out there. But internet scammers aren't the only ones to look out for.

More on that in a minute...

But first, let's get to The News.

Hot Takes

Week 50 of 2023

The Penn and The Sword

After a week of backlash against the Iviest of the Ivy League colleges, the House passed a resolution condemning them. As a reminder, resolutions are essentially Congress making a Facebook post when they feel cute, and might delete later.

Panties were twisted after three University presidents Claudine Gay of Harvard, Liz Magill of Penn, and Sally Kornbluth of MIT failed to satisfy congress with their response to antisemitic protests on their campuses. Congresswoman Elise Stefanik's questioning went viral when she demanded they explain their detailed policies on freedom of speech, code of conduct, bullying, harassment, and personnel issues, followed by a full explanation of the theory of relativity with a simple yes or no answer. At least one, Magill from Penn, has resigned under the pressure. You've heard the story, but for those who missed it, Steganik grilled them, asking if "calling for the genocide of Jews is against your code of conduct?"

They all said something along the lines of, "If it were directed, severe, and pervasive, yes, it would be. But it's a context-dependent decision." explaining that they protect freedom of expression.

Notably, according to my feed of pundits, critical thinkers, and both side journalists, nearly zero people see this my way (with this guy being an exception). Most say they had it coming for stifling the free speech selectively, such as when people have expressed views on transgender issues in a manner that don’t conform to canon. I, however, judge this moment on its own, based only on the relevant facts.

And I agree that in this case, like the examples of the past, a dumb answer may have been helpful politically, but a true one was apparently not acceptable.

(Here is the full hearing from CSPAN, and if you're the cherry-picking type, you can see key segments here and here).

Kate and The State

Kate Cox has become famous for her high-risk pregnancy. She's had the whole world on her side, alongside cramps and bloating, after a judge said she couldn't get an abortion of her terminal fetus that could render her infertile. Her baby, in utero, was diagnosed with a terminal condition. A district court sided with Kate, but Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton pushed the matter to the Texas Supreme Court, which pushed Kate to greener pastures (or browner, for that matter, if they'll offer reasonable medical treatment). By now, the only thing she's pregnant with is the suspense about how the law will respond when she returns. (more)

Immunity or Punity

Special Counsel Jack Smith asked the Supreme Court to determine if Trump, as a former president, has immunity from Prosecution for his election interference case. So we'll see what Clarence Thomas has to say, and of course, hopefully, Ginni Thomas can weigh in – perhaps privately from their gifted RV since she can't technically interfere in a Supreme Court case. She only interferes with elections. (more)

Ukraine's Pitch Man

Volodymyr Zelensky visited the US to pitch to Congress in hopes of getting more financial support for their defense. To my intrigue, he wore his best army sweater and a nice trim, bringing that fresh Ukrainian thirst trap experience that only Volodymyr can bring. And that's good because patience for Ukraine's slow progress is wearing thin, much like my skin in the winter months. Word on the streets is Republicans are insisting that aid be tied to US southern border reform, or else, audios amigos. I say go for it. It's necesidad anyway, this is a chance to put some urgencia on the situación. (more)

Bibi and Biden

President Biden expressed some disagreements with Bibi Netanyahu about whether he is leaving room for a long-term solution to Israel's conflict with Hamas. At this point, no one thinks the number of people killed in Gaza looks good, in particular, the military leaders who were experienced in Iraq and Afghanistan. Still no word on when Hamas will care about their citizens as the rest of the world though. (more)

Return of the Phlegm

Some in Congress are fighting to bring whole milk back to schools, which has me clearing my throat. (more)

That's it for the news. Now, here's this week's Feature.

Gone Phishing

Feature Story

Congress voted to open an impeachment inquiry into President Joe Biden, with 221 Republicans voting yes and 212 Democrats voting no. For the Republicans, this calls for a celebratory party of partisan peach mint tea. As for Joe, I think he should read these AARP tips to avoid becoming the victim of a phishing scam.

I don't know how Biden is with email, but we know that the elderly are the most targeted by phishing scams. That's why Joe Biden should guard his hard-earned retirement, just in case an Arabian prince should email him feloniously at one of his many secret emails in an attempt to get him to pass over his bank numbers.

For the record, Joe's emails currently include [email protected], [email protected], and [email protected], so if you receive an email from any of these addresses, you'll know that the President has either been hacked, or he's trying to get you to funnel money to him from Hunter, so he can get paid back for the Ford Raptor he helped him buy.

It's because of deals like this that Republicans in Congress have decided to formalize an impeachment inquiry against Joe Biden. He was caught red-handed spotting his son on car payments, with three scandalous deposits of $1,380 funneled through dark web channels (possibly Venmo) and laundered, I should add, directly into his bank account way back in 2018. The Biden Crime Family is so sneaky they even committed these egregious crimes and misdemeanors while Biden was a private citizen in a ploy to pedal his influence as a possible future president.

This week, as the House votes along party lines to pursue an impeachment inquiry into the President, the Rule of Law party says this is different than the meritless impeachment against the now poly-criminally indicted former President Trump. “They were brazenly political," Speaker Johnson said of the Democrats, "This, what you're seeing here, is exactly the opposite."

That's it for this week.

Remember: I'm not just The Lorem Ipsum President. I'm also a client.

Share your copy, as I've shared mine with you.

Have a great weekend!

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