The Weekly

Raiding Your Inbox

Explosive news and another issue of Ask TLI.

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The Weekly

Nancy The Diplomask

Hey friends, Good morning to everyone except for Donald Trump's legal team. I've got a lot of news for you this week, so I'm going to have to refrain from sharing the latest suburban tropes about lawncare or run-ins with HOAs. Obviously, those things are important, but we have other

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Lawn Force One

Like a machete through cold butter...

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A State That Works

Hey Indiana, you can do better.

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How to Get a Better President

And how to find the right balance when sending emails.

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The 100th Publishing

In just over a year The Lorem Ipsum has published 100 articles and newsletters. Here's the mission of the publication along with something new.

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Party like it's 1969

Good morning friends, This week, we've been celebrating the rare milestone of going back in time. As you likely know, the Supreme Court has reversed a watershed ruling, turning the clocks back to 1973. I'm not sure I have ever known what it's like to live in a world where

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Breathing New Life

I was almost a hero this week.

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The Search for Sriracha

And how to navigate inflation.

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The Town Square

And the One Six Commish Defends the Constitution.

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Welcome to a new us.

And when the wrong things becomes our entertainment.

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Only In America

...and the New York pizza that fell short.

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Activating The Queen's Gambit

Hey Friends, Welcome to another week of this penned magniloquent nourishment. Consider this email the baby formula of the news, except there doesn’t seem to be a shortage of news at the moment. At least not yet. But as far as The Lorem Ipsum goes, if the real thing

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Doesn't have a podcast.

Hey Friends, This week, I didn’t launch a podcast. I received zero downloads and didn’t reach any levels on exactly no charts. I announced it this earlier this week, and I made sure to make a big splash. Let’s take a look. Here’s how I broke

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One thing leaks to another.

Hey Friends, I’m happy to report that I do not have to pay a water and gas bill through this entire summer. This all started with a shocking bill a while back. It was astronomically high on the water portion of the combined bills. The steep number became our

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Holding my lawn in contempt

Hey Friends, Here in the USA, GDPR shrank by 0.4% during this first quarter. Despite this fact, my lawn is having a bull market with double digit growth. Unfortunately, dandelions are up by a staggering 3%, a report that comes on the heels of me bending over to pick

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I miss spelling

Hey Friends, Good morning and welcome to a really great email if you like to find typos like Easter eggs. Sometimes they are obvious. Sometimes they are buried in the weeds. Regardless, they are always a treat. Except to me. I lose sleep when I discover I left behind a

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Yes, you are wrong.

Hey Friends, Happy tax day, and welcome to another The Lorem Ipsum, which charges you no dollars and no cents of your income. You know, every single day this week, I thought it was a different day. Sometimes it was the day I wished it was, instead of the day

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Bedazzled by Crypto

Hey Friends, Good morning. Did you know that I have never owned a pair of those bedazzled jeans? That’s right. I stick with the classics. This week I picked up a quality pair of selvedge denim jeans. The kind that last. That might be the only thing I accomplished

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Not an April Fools Joke

Hey Friends Good morning. If this is your first time receiving this email, it is not an April Fool’s joke. This is a real email that several people read, on purpose. For the rest of you, thank you for checking your spam folder. Also, thanks for reading, sharing and

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Is this Propaganda?

Hey Friends, Do you think this email is propaganda? I mean let’s think about it. * I’ve pushed influential content on you to normalize driving gloves. * I’ve provided deceptive information like when I explained how I killed Betty White. * I’ve even pushed a biased narrative about which

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Somebody fix these potholes!

Hey Friends, If you’re wondering why this email feels an hour earlier, it’s because we just sprung forward on Sunday, and you haven’t adjusted yet. Losing an hour has put me just a little bit behind, but as usual, The Lorem Ipsum has been delivered on time.

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Better than Britannica

Hey Friends, Good morning to literally everyone who is not a dictator of a country blocking access to free press. The Lorem Ipsum will always fight for freedom, as much as an email can. To that end, to ensure that the Lorem Ipsum is always the people’s email, I’

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Too Soon?

Hey Friends, Good morning. Last week I took immediate action and sent you an email summarizing some of the events taking place in Ukraine. I also made jokes. The reviews were mixed. Here are some actual quotes * “Good writers take risks. You are a good writer.” * “Honestly, I think we

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The British Invasion was better

Hey Friends, Good morning, and welcome to another great Friday. If you’re reading this email, it’s because a Russian cyber attack can’t take down The Lorem Ipsum. Welcome to the 28th issue during this 8th week of 2022. Speaking of attacks, for those of you who have